you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
