Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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