i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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