when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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