i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
home. puking in laundry basket.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
