Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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