Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
