We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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