and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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