you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
