You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
