1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
please come you make the beer taste better
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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