I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
her facebook's as public as her vagina
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
