I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
MIDGETS
????
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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