My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
