I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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