isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
