Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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