they need to just BURY HIM!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
