you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I am naked and annoyed.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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