we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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