I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
