talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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