this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
