do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
