I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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