This dress was meant to end up on your floor
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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