I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
