i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
