I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The feeling are messing with the penis
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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