Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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