Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
