I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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