apparently the secret to your success is patron
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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