i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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