my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So many bounce houses so little time
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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