she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
