i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize