This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
