New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
