True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
