Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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