Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
