is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
