You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
