I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
