Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i out mim tonsoeep
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
