I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize