Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
