i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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