Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
