I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
