I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
