I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize