I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
