are you so shy because you have an std?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
