she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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