im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
