i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
