Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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