i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
